dangerouspoetry:

dangerouspoetry:

my dad just came in and tossed this at me saying it “came with the paper”

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I’m nearly a 20 year old man

update:

I gave in

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her name is stephanie

(via misforamore)

unfollowlng:

seenaill:

unfollowlng:

If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made

my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them

you win

(via xastridaestheticx)

chocolateinthelibrary:

So my family stayed at my aunt’s beach house last weekend and

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there

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is

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literally

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a Harry Potter-themed

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reading nook

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in the cupboard under the stairs

(via helpmefiguremyselfout)

abbygubler:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

the fuck kind of romeo and juliet is this 

(via icantgobackhome)